As a leader, do
you find yourself frustrated, wondering why employees don't meet expectations,
peers are slow to act, or pressure from your boss falls unfairly on your
shoulders? It's easy to point a finger at others and double down on getting
results. But have you ever considered that the problem might not be them—that
it might be you?
“Your mindset
may be the only thing standing between you and your potential. It’s time to break
free from the beliefs that hold you back,” says Muriel M. Wilkins, author of
the new book, Leadership Unblocked: Break Through The Beliefs That Limit Your Potential.
Through
countless hours coaching executives over the past twenty years, Wilkins has
pinpointed the biggest reason behind these common leadership challenges: hidden
blockers. These unconscious beliefs can actively stall progress if leaders
aren't aware of their existence, preventing them from seeing a situation
clearly, solving problems effectively, and advancing their careers.
In the book,
Wilkins reveals seven key beliefs that hold leaders back. They are:
“I Need to
be Involved.” The belief that you need to be part of every detail at every
level. You have the reputation of being a micromanager.
“I Need it Done
Now.” The belief that you need to get results right away, no matter what.
"I Know
I'm Right." The belief that you—and only you—know the answers to the
problems at hand. You don’t listen well and have a habit of interrupting.
“I Can’t Make
a Mistake” The belief that your performance must be flawless, above reproach.
Sometimes you slow down progress because you don’t take a stance or put a stake
in the ground.
“If I Can Do
it, So Can You.” The belief that others’ performance must be like yours to
be acceptable. You tend to blame others when something goes wrong.
“I Can’t Say
No.” The belief that you must say yes and step up to the plate when asked. You
are a doer but not necessarily a leader.
"I Don't
Belong Here." The belief that you don’t fit in where you are or at
your level. You wait to be invited to participate rather than self-initiate.
You don’t speak up at meetings unless asked to do so.
Combining
illustrative and powerful coaching conversations and research from the fields
of neuroscience, leadership, and adult development theory, Wilkins offers a
self-coaching “Blocked to Unblocked” guide for identifying, unpacking, and
breaking through these barriers.
“My hope is
that Leadership Unblocked can function as your portable coach, a dependable and
wise companion as you endeavor to become free of the blockers that are holding
you back,” says Wilkins.
“Remember,
though, hidden blockers are sneaky. Overcoming them will take time, effort, and
discipline. But, if you follow the steps in the process to uncover your hidden
blocker, unpack it, and unblock yourself from it, you’ll be able to recognize
it the next time it rears its head,” adds Wilkins.
Also, “It’s not
unusual to be affected by more than one hidden blocker at once. But I’ve found that
It’s most beneficial to address one limiting belief at a time—namely, the primary
blocker that’s currently standing in the way of your leadership goals,” states
Wilkins.
By using the
practical advice in this book, leaders and aspiring leaders alike can cultivate
the mindset to achieve their goals and finally become the high-impact and
visionary leaders they want to be.
Wilkins shares
these additional insights with us:
Question: Of
the seven hidden blockers, which one or two are most common among leaders and
why is that?
Wilkins:
Honestly, they’re all relatively equally common among leaders—that’s why I
surfaced them as the top seven as these are the patterns I’ve seen most
consistently in my coaching work with leaders. They come from beliefs and
assumptions most leaders pick up along the way—things like “I know I’m right,”
“I can’t make a mistake,” or “I need to be involved.”
The tricky part
is those beliefs usually came from a good place. They were reinforced by past
successes or by the pressure to perform. For a while, they work. But as you
step into more complex roles, those same beliefs can start to get in the way.
They’re rooted in universal challenges—wanting to stay in control, fearing
failure, or feeling like you always have to prove yourself. That’s why I call
them “hidden blockers.” They sneak in under the radar, but they’re incredibly
common.
That said, two
that many leaders resonate with are:
“I Can’t Make a
Mistake.” This one shows up a lot because leaders often work in high-pressure
environments where mistakes feel costly. The belief is that perfection equals
credibility, so they overanalyze or hesitate to decide for fear of being wrong.
That drive for perfection can lead to indecision, inefficiency, and burnout.
“I Need to Be
Involved.” Leaders often feel they have to keep their hands on everything to
ensure things go smoothly. That can lead to micromanagement and overcommitment,
leaving little room for strategic thinking. Usually, it stems from times when
being hands-on was rewarded, or from a fear of losing control.
Both blockers
come from natural instincts to maintain control and avoid failure. But left
unchecked, they limit growth, scalability, and the ability to empower teams.
Recognizing them is the first step to breaking the pattern.
Question: Why
is it important for readers to use the Coach Yourself Worksheet after reading
the book?
Wilkins:
Because reading the book gives you insight, but the worksheet helps you put it
into practice. Awareness by itself doesn’t create change—you have to pause,
reflect, and figure out what this means for you. The worksheet gives you a
simple structure to do exactly that.
It’s designed
to help you identify your specific blockers, unpack where they came from, and
start reframing them into beliefs that actually support the kind of leader you
want to be. It’s like taking the “aha moment” from the book and turning it into
a plan you can actually work with.
That way,
you’re not just nodding along with the concepts—you’re actively engaging with
them, uncovering limiting beliefs, and taking deliberate steps to grow. And
that’s what makes the lessons stick and lead to real, sustainable change.
Question: What
are a few steps a leader can take to help employees start to identify (and
ultimately unblock) their hidden blockers?
Wilkins:
A big one is feedback—sharing what you notice about the gap between someone’s
intent and their actual impact. That often creates the “aha” moment where they
realize, I might be stuck here.
From there,
it’s about asking curiosity-driven questions like, “What assumptions might be
influencing you?” or “Where do you think that belief comes from?” That
reflection helps people uncover the deeper patterns.
Then, you can
support them in reframing—shifting toward a belief that actually helps them get
the results they want—and encourage them to try small, concrete actions to
practice that new mindset. Done consistently, those steps build self-awareness
and spark real growth on a team.
___
Wilkins,
founder and CEO of Paravis Partners, is a sought-after C-suite adviser and
executive coach with a twenty-year track record of helping senior leaders take
their performance to the next level.
She has served
clients across a number of industries including management consulting, private
equity, biotech, financial services, retail, and non-profits.
She is the
coauthor of Own the Room: Discover Your Signature Voice to Master Your
Leadership Presence. She is algo the host of the award-winning Harvard
Business Review podcast, Coaching Real Leaders. She holds an MBA from
Harvard Business School, an undergraduate degree from Georgetown University,
and a leadership coaching certification from Georgetown University.
Thank you to
the book’s publisher for sending me an advance copy of the book.
___

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