Skip to main content

How to Be a Leader – 9 Principles from Dale Carnegie

Today, I welcome thought-leader Nathan Magnuson as guest blogger...


Nathan writes:
This is it, your first day in a formal leadership role.  You’ve worked hard as an individual contributor at one or possibly several organizations.  Now management has finally seen fit to promote you into a position as one of their own: a supervisor.  You don’t care if your new team is only one person or ten, you’re just excited that now – finally – you will be in charge!
Unfortunately the euphoria is short-lived.  Almost immediately, you are not only overwhelmed with the responsibilities of a team, but you quickly find that your team members are not as experienced or adroit as you.  Some aren’t even as committed.  You find yourself having to repeat yourself, send their work back for corrections, and staying late to fill the gap.  If something doesn’t change soon, you might just run yourself into the ground.  How did something that looked so easy all of a sudden become so hard?
Now what?
Does this sound familiar?  Fortunately, Dale Carnegie worked long and hard to provide answers for those of us in this exact situation.  Among the many principles he shared in his two classic books How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Carnegie included nine ways to simply be a leader.  Here they are:
1.    Begin with praise and honest appreciation. This doesn’t mean simply buttering someone up so you can tear them down.  When you begin with praise, the other person is open to hearing what you have to say and you earn relational capital.

2.    Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.  Confrontation only puts people on the defensive. Use your best effort to avoid making someone’s shortcomings the sole purpose of your interaction with them.

3.    Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.  Mark Batterson once said that people often relate more to our failures than our successes.  Admitting our own mistakes makes us seem more human.

4.    Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.  When you ask a question, you put the “ball” in the other person’s court.  Instead of simply following your directive, you empower them to take leadership initiative.

5.    Let the other person save face.  I once wired $77 million to the wrong bank.  There’s no way to sugarcoat that, no matter how hard you try!  Thankfully, my supervisor put the emphasis on the complexity of the situation instead of on my oversight and even took some of the responsibility on himself.

6.    Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”  Most people get this entirely backwards.  They are “hardly” in their praise and lavish in their criticism.  Make much ado about small wins.  Everyone likes to be celebrated.

7.    Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.  You simply can’t do this without believing the best about the other person.  Tell the other person what you truly believe they can become, and they will work hard not to let you down.

8.    Use encouragement.  Make the fault seem easy to correct.  This doesn’t mean to downplay inappropriate behavior, only to use encouragement to gain momentum that can carry over into areas that need improvement.

9.    Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.  The only way to get anyone to do anything is for them to want to.  Zig Ziglar says that happiness is one of the eight things everyone wants.  If you make the other person happy, you’ll truly experience a win-win.
Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, and thought leader. Visit him often at NathanMagnuson.com or follow him on Twitter.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How To Achieve Human Leadership

Human Leadership: The Courage To Face Ourselves And Each Other is Kristen Hadeed ’s newest book. It’s a raw, personal account of losing herself in service to others and the challenging work of finding her way back.   It’s a story of burnout, ambition, resentment, grief, reinvention, profound self-examination, and the courage it takes to share what you discover with the people around you. By learning to face herself, tell the truth, and take ownership of her choices, Hadeed became a more courageous, compassionate leader and built a life and business that would take care of her, too.   Hadeed’s journey shows that leadership doesn’t have to mean endless sacrifice or self-abandonment. Human Leadership offers a different path―one where courage, honesty, and humanity become the foundation of meaningful leadership and a meaningful life.   Part memoir, part invitation, Hadeed’s story will empower you to:   Recognize the values, fears, and limiting beliefs driving your lead...

The Playbook For CEOs To Lead Under Pressure

“Most CEOs spend years mastering strategy, finance, operations, and execution,” says author Andrea Petrone , “Far fewer spend time defining who they are as leaders.” He adds that all too often the leadership style that got a CEO to the top becomes the very thing holding them back.   More specifically, after more than two decades coaching CEOs and senior executives at Shell, Unilever, Takeda, EssilorLuxottica, and PwC, Petrone noticed a pattern: sustained pressure was pulling leaders away from who they were. Fortunately, in his latest book, Reinvention at the Top: The Playbook for CEOs to Lead Under Pressure , Petrone introduces the Throughline, an architecture that helps leaders align their identity, message, and presence so they can lead powerfully under pressure. Whether stepping into a new role, navigating a crisis, or reinventing an organization, Throughline offers CEOs a practical roadmap for leading without losing themselves.   As you read the book you will discover: ...

How To Build A High Performing Sales Team

  Based on Stephanie Friedman 's 20 years of sales experience, her new book, Built to Grow: A Handbook For High-Performance Sales Teams , is the perfect step-by-step, go-to-market field guide for startup founders.   Friedman offers readers a structured and repeatable methodology for building a high-performing sales function from a company’s earliest days. The book is divided into three phases of startup growth— Experiment, Build, and Scale.   Within each of the three phases, Friedman covers: Sales Playbook Hiring Revenue Management Customer Success Compensations Culture Internal Collaboration   Some of my favorite takeaway tips from the book include:   No matter how experienced your salespeople are, any high-performing sales organization should follow one simple but important rule: No call without an agenda. This helps reinforce the necessary discipline around call preparation and ensures your customers have the best possible experience when talking to your...

How To Get Along With Anyone

T he new book, How To Get Along With Anyone , by John Eliot and Jim Guinn , is the playbook for predicting and preventing conflict at work and at home.  As you read the book, you will discover how to defuse any heated conflict by learning which of the five conflict styles you are and how to resolve even the most sensitive dispute with this must-read guide.  Through decades of building and facilitating team chemistry for Fortune 500 companies, professional sports franchises, schools and government agencies, nonprofit organizations, and families, Eliot and Guinn have discovered people respond to conflict in one of these five ways:  Avoider : Uninterested in minor details; excels in solitary work with a knack for concentration.  Competitor : Always pushing the envelope; never rests on laurel and takes risks for achievement.  Analyzer : Evidence-based and methodical; patiently gathers information before acting.  Collaborator : A deeply caring individual,...

Six Leadership Actions To Leverage Employees' Differences To Strengthen Teams

The new book, All The Difference: Six Leadership Actions To Bridge Perspectives, Strengthen Teams, and Create Value , teaches how leaders can turn their team's individual differences into deeper trust, greater creativity, and winning results.   “The greatest risk of unmanaged difference isn’t conflict: it lies in the ideas, insights, and opportunities that may never surface,” explain the book’s authors, Susan MacKenty Brady , Stuart D. Kliman , and Lt. Gen. (Ret.) Leslie C. Smith .   They suggest that you look around your team to fully see people with different communication styles, perspectives, cultural norms, and capabilities. These differences are expressed in all kinds of ways, such as casual gestures in a meeting, a colleague's opinion on a current event, or an intense work style.   Often, those differences can lead to friction, even conflict. You may try to manage around them. But, for you and your organization to fully leverage the strengths of your team’s diffe...

Leadership Lessons From Kent Taylor, Founder Of Texas Roadhouse

From cover-to-cover of Made From Scratch you’ll learn the leadership lessons of the late Kent Taylor , founder of the restaurant chain Texas Roadhouse.  In the new book, Taylor recounts how he built the restaurant chain from the ground up after being rejected more than 80 times as he pitched the idea for the business.  His approach to business was often out-of-the-box, however, his business lessons and leadership lessons from the course of his life and career are invaluable.  Here are some of my favorite leadership lessons from Kent and his book:  The best leaders stay down-to-earth and approachable.  In a bottom-up company, the leader learns from frontline people.  As soon as you make a profit, find a way to give back.  Be willing to laugh at yourself.  Become a student of your craft.  Positive reinforcement inspires much greater performance than fear ever can.  Want to get the respect of your people? Then roll up y...

The Science And Secrets Of High-Performing Teams

Ron Friedman ’s new book, Superteams , is the best book about teams and team building that I have ever read and have reviewed on my blog. It’s all about what the best teams do differently.   It’s packed with counterintuitive insights, surprising science, and real-world lessons "from the most comprehensive study of elite groups ever conducted" reports Friedman. Read through it once and then keep it handy to refer to repeatedly. The 50-plus strategies for how a team does its best work are invaluable.   Friedman surveyed thousands of teams and pinpointed the precise habits that separate the best from the rest. He reports that “the results upend everything we think we know about teamwork. It turns out that the most successful teams aren't the ones that collaborate most, get along best, or put in the longest hours.”   What really sets them apart, according to Friedman, is the way they:   Manage their energy and attention. Bring out the best in one another. Keep improving...

How To Become The Person Others Follow

Yes, it will take you some time to read  Joshua Spodek 's book,  Leadership Step by Step . Yes, it will be a little like doing "homework." Yes, this is a book you'll read and likely need to revisit a few times for the concepts to fully sink in.  Yes, this is a book you must read if you want to become the person others will follow . The time and effort you put into,  Leadership Step by Step , will be well worth it! Spodek guides you through what to do and how to do it in an  integrated and comprehensive progression of exercises  designed to cultivate key abilities, behaviors, and beliefs through experiences. The progression contains four units : Understanding Yourself Leading Yourself Understanding Others Leading Others Each chapter within the four units provides you: Hands-on Exercises Reflection Questions Post-Exercise Observations "By the time you finish the book, you'll have competed 22 exercises." explains Spodek, who is an Adjunct Professor at NUY a...

Thoughts From The Book, Decide

Two of my favorite observations made by author Steve McClatchy in his new book, Decide , are: Goals :  The reason so many people fail to achieve their goals is because they have not committed to defending a time in which they will work on their goals. Management vs. Leadership :  Management is keeping things the way they are today.   Management Maintenance .  Leadership is moving things forward from where they are today.  Leadership = Improvement . Steve McClatchy

How To Improve The Way Teams Think, Collaborate And Make Decisions Under Pressure

  “Great decisions don’t happen by accident—they happen by design,” shares Dr. Ricardo Valerdi , author of the new book, The Five-Tool Team: Bringing Out The Best In People To Make Better Decisions .  This book is not about finding perfect answers. It is about building a framework that allows you to make good decisions repeatedly, even when conditions are imperfect, information is incomplete, and outcomes are uncertain.  More specifically, Valerdi reveals a practical framework for improving the way individuals and teams think, collaborate, and make decisions under pressure.   Drawing on lessons from sports, business, engineering, and real-world experience, Valerdi shows how the most effective leaders build teams that question assumptions, analyze consequences, and make choices grounded in clarity rather than instinct or urgency.  “Writing this book has been a phenomenal journey that started in 2018 when I was a visiting professor at the United States Military Ac...