Skip to main content

How To Overcome Four Common Challenges To Become A Better Communicator


“Raising your game as a communicator is one of the best ways to make a difference in the world, but it takes courage to open up to others and invite others to open up to you” says Michelle D. Gladieux, author of the new book, Communicate With Courage: Taking Risks To Overcome The Four Hidden Challenges. 

Gladieux explains that those four hidden challenges and sneaky obstacles that can keep you from becoming the best communicator you can be are: 

  1. Hiding—Fear of exposing your supposed weaknesses.
  2. Defining—Putting too much stock into assumptions and being quick to judge.
  3. Rationalizing—Using “being realistic” to shield yourself from taking chances, engaging in conflict, or doing other scary but potentially rewarding actions.
  4. Settling—Stopping at “good enough” instead of aiming for something better in your interactions. 

According to Gladieux, these challenges all have something in common. They require taking risks—to reveal yourself, question your beliefs, take a leap of faith, or move out of your comfort zone. 

Fortunately, each book chapter includes a real-world practice called a Pro Move and an exercise, both carefully crafted to help you overcome hang-ups and take more joy in communicating. 

Effective and courageous communication requires self-knowledge, practice, and a desire to grow. It is a full-body, full-mind, and full-heart effort. This book is like having a caring, expert coach along with you for the journey. 

Today, Gladieux shares these insights with us: 

Question: Of the four obstacles, which one is typically the most challenging for communicators and why? 

Gladieux: The four hidden challenges are sneaky obstacles the keep us from becoming the best communicators we can be. In my teaching and coaching practice, I've named them Hiding (fear of exposing supposed or actual weaknesses), Defining (putting too much stock into our assumptions), Rationalizing (shielding ourselves from taking chances by focusing too much thinking on what might go wrong), and Settling (stopping at "good enough" rather than striving toward deeper, braver, more meaningful interactions). 

Which hidden challenge is most relevant and difficult to overcome for communicators will vary by person, since we all have unique upbringings, strengths, weaknesses, and experiences in the world. 

I've noticed that once I gain ground in seeing and coping with one challenge (whether I'm working on myself or helping a coaching client grow), another may rear its head and require attention to be overcome. It's also worth noting that we may find a challenge we believe we've conquered can emerge again as life tests us in new ways as communicators. 

Many coaching clients find that they need to give Rationalizing a rest before they can engage in potentially rewarding communication, because pessimism certainly has power to limit our opportunities as communicators in our personal and professional lives. 

And, if we're Settling, right out of the gate we know we won't be striving to reach our communication potential in any way. 

Readers can find Pro Moves and do-able exercises delivered with love and strategy throughout the book to help them take small steps toward facing all four hidden challenges and their communication fears. 

Question: At what point or stage in a person's career is your book most helpful and why? 

Gladieux: Communicate with Courage was built to help young adults through seniors make a difference in the world as communicators. 

As long as you're breathing and can speak and/or write, you can strive to summon courage to grow as a message sender and receiver. It's been wonderful to hear about people gifting this book to their 87-year-old grandmother and to their graduating high school senior. Throughout adulthood, we need to keep questioning our beliefs, sharing about ourselves in ways that can be helpful to others (as we help ourselves), and taking leaps of faith in communication.

 Michelle Gladieux

Michelle Gladieux is President of Gladieux Consulting, a Midwest-based team known for the design and presentation of seminars in communication and leadership topics around the U.S. 

She facilitates strategic planning and executive coaching for clients in diverse industries, in governments, at non-profits, and in academia. She has 18 years of collegiate teaching experience at three universities. She's worked as a Human Resources and Training Director in the cold storage, robotics, and construction industries and enjoys visiting conferences as a keynote speaker and workshop presenter. 

Thank you to the book’s publisher for sending me an advance copy of the book.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How To Uncover Your Blindspots To Become A Better Leader

What you don't see about yourself can hold you back as a leader. That's typical for many leaders. What we don't see is what we  can't  see: we have  blindspots . Your blindspots prevent you from achieving your greatest success.  “It turns out that we're often not great judges of ourselves, even when we think we are. Sometimes we're simply unaware of a behavior or trait that's causing problems,” explains  Martin Dubin , author of the new book,  Blindspotting: How To See What’s Holding You Back As A Leader . “Bottom line: until we uncover these blindspots, we can't move forward. The good news is that you can learn to do your own  blindspotting .”   “Most of us understand the idea of blindspots in a general sense—areas we can’t see, to take the term most literally, or places we have gaps that we may not even realize, to be a little more abstract,” says Dubin.  “But in the context of this book, I’m defining blindspots quite specifically: They are...

Helping People Win At Work

Here are some of my favorite pieces of advice from Ken Blanchard's and Garry Ridge's book, Helping People Win at Work : All good performance starts with clear goals. Continually planning and executing without the value of review and learning can blindside you. You don't want to save up feedback until somebody fails. It's amazing how much more you learn when you admit you don't know. If you can't measure something, you can't manage it. The key to developing people is to catch them doing something right. Whenever you attempt to influence someone else's beliefs, thinking, or behavior, you're engaging in leadership. A compelling vision tells people who they are, where they are going, and what will guide their journey.

Full Engagement By Brian Tracy

Best-selling author Brian Tracy's book, Full Engagement , provides practical advice for how to inspire your employees to perform at their absolute best. He explains that above nearly every measure, employees' most powerful single motivator is the "desire to be happy." So, Tracy teaches you how to make your employees happy by: Organizing their work from the first step in the hiring process through the final step in their departure from your company so they are happy with you, their work, their coworkers, as well as in their interactions with your customers, suppliers and vendors. Full Engagement includes these chapters and topics: The Psychology of Motivation Ignite the Flame of Personal Performance Make People Feel Important Drive Out Fear Create That Winning Feeling Select The Right People Internal Versus External Motivation At a minimum, Tracy suggests that managers do the following when managing their employees : Smile Ask questions Listen ...

One Minute Mentoring

Fortunately, I've benefited from having great mentors throughout my career. And, I've have the honor and good fortune to be a mentor, both formally and informally, for various individuals the past few decades. Mentoring is powerful. Both being a mentor. And, being mentored. That's why I became an instant fan of the book,  One Minute Mentoring: How to Find and Work With a Mentor -- and Why You'll Benefit from Being One . The book presents a fictional parable about the power of finding, or being, a mentor. In what is about a one- to two-hour read, you'll gain knowledge and easy-to-use tools for  how to find and leverage mentoring relationships . Ken Blanchard You'll also learn why developing effective communication and relationships  across generations  through mentoring can be a tremendous opportunity for companies and individuals alike. Bestselling author,  Ken Blanchard, Ph.D . teamed up with  Claire Diaz-Ortiz  to write  One Mi...

Business And Life Lessons From Entrepreneur Miguel Leal

What I like most about Miguel Leal ’s memoir, aside from its overall compelling and inspiring information, are the business and life lessons he shares.  Those lessons are found throughout his recently released memoir, The House That Cheese Built . The book is a quintessential American dream story from a Mexican entrepreneur who shares the tale of building a multi-million-dollar business from scratch, complete with both success and failure, and always a vision of hope.  Leal came to the U.S. penniless as a teenager, speaking almost no English; he literally slept in the boiler room of a Wisconsin cheese factory for months before he was caught. Through hard work, grit, and ingenuity Leal would go on to launch his own business. He is widely credited with introducing Mexican cheeses to the U.S. market and grew his company to a multimillion-dollar success story that defined an industry. Yet, like many successful entrepreneurs, Leal’s great successes were matched by a variety of ...

The Rainmaker's Credo

  How To Become A Rainmaker  is a quick, instructional book that reveals the rules for getting and keeping customers and clients. Written by  Jeffrey J. Fox , the handbook format provides you the best approaches to take to become a true rainmaker – one who brings clients, money, business, or even intangible prestige to an organization.  One of the real gems in the book is Fox’s  The Rainmaker’s Credo , which includes:  Cherish customers at all times. Treat customers as you would your best friend. Listen to customers and decipher their needs. Make (or give) customers what they need. Teach customers to want what they need. Make your product the way customers want it. Get your product to your customers when they want it. Give your customers a little extra, more than they expect. Thank each customer sincerely and often.

The Three Pillars Of Executive Presence

After two years of research, forty focus groups and a national survey, author  Sylvia Ann Hewlett  contends the  three pillars  of  Executive Presence  are: How you act ( gravitas ) How you speak  (communication ) How you look ( appearance ) All three work together to help you  telegraph  (signal) to others that you have what it takes and that you're star material.   "One thing to note at the start is that these pillars are not equally important--not by a long shot," explains Hewlett.  "Gravitas is the core characteristic." And according to the senior leaders that Hewlett researched the  top aspects of  gravitas are : Confidence and "grace under fire" Decisiveness and "showing teeth" Integrity and "speaking truth to power" Emotional intelligence Reputation and standing/"pedigree" Vision/charisma In her book,  Executive Presence , she teaches how to act, communicate and look your best while  avoiding the most comm...

How to Be a Leader – 9 Principles from Dale Carnegie

Today, I welcome thought-leader Nathan Magnuson as guest blogger... Nathan writes : This is it, your first day in a formal leadership role.   You’ve worked hard as an individual contributor at one or possibly several organizations.   Now management has finally seen fit to promote you into a position as one of their own: a supervisor.   You don’t care if your new team is only one person or ten, you’re just excited that now – finally – you will be in charge! Unfortunately the euphoria is short-lived.   Almost immediately, you are not only overwhelmed with the responsibilities of a team, but you quickly find that your team members are not as experienced or adroit as you.   Some aren’t even as committed.   You find yourself having to repeat yourself, send their work back for corrections, and staying late to fill the gap.   If something doesn’t change soon, you might just run yourself into the ground.   How did something that looked so easy ...

Ridiculously Practical Leadership By Nathan Magnuson

  What I like most about Nathan Magnuson ’s leadership books is how immediately actionable and practical his teachings are.   His latest book, Ridiculously Practical Leadership: The One-Step Approach To Immediate High Performance , is a perfect example.   There is no fluff, no theory, just straight-up practical application covering 20 skill topics ranging from decision-making to difficult conversations to giving feedback to leading change and servant leadership .   “For twenty years I’ve studied leadership development. I’ve had a front row seat to many incredible leaders and others who meant well but got stuck in the all-too-familiar rut of too-long training classes emphasizing theory over application with little to show for the investment,” says Magnuson.   That’s why I wrote Ridiculously Practical Leadership . So, if you’re looking for an approach to leadership development that CEOs, CFOs and CHROs can all support and team leaders can't live without, this...

Twenty-five Of My Favorite Leadership Quotes

All year during 2012, I collected my favorite quotes about leadership from Twitter. When the year ended, I published the list. So, for today's leadership flashback , among the thousands of tweets and retweets on Twitter about leadership during 2012 these 25 were my favorites. A mix of advice from some unknown individuals along with many from leadership book authors and famous leadership experts, and a few from past U.S. presidents and current-day athletes. Great leaders know the power of asking questions. Lead with your heart, not just your head. Learn to let go of fear and embrace the unknown. People are much more impressed by your potential than by your track record. Smart leaders use the power of stories whenever they have important messages to convey. To be effective, leaders have to close the conversational gap with their employees. One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency -- Arnold Glasow Managers...