Skip to main content

How To Overcome Four Common Challenges To Become A Better Communicator


“Raising your game as a communicator is one of the best ways to make a difference in the world, but it takes courage to open up to others and invite others to open up to you” says Michelle D. Gladieux, author of the new book, Communicate With Courage: Taking Risks To Overcome The Four Hidden Challenges. 

Gladieux explains that those four hidden challenges and sneaky obstacles that can keep you from becoming the best communicator you can be are: 

  1. Hiding—Fear of exposing your supposed weaknesses.
  2. Defining—Putting too much stock into assumptions and being quick to judge.
  3. Rationalizing—Using “being realistic” to shield yourself from taking chances, engaging in conflict, or doing other scary but potentially rewarding actions.
  4. Settling—Stopping at “good enough” instead of aiming for something better in your interactions. 

According to Gladieux, these challenges all have something in common. They require taking risks—to reveal yourself, question your beliefs, take a leap of faith, or move out of your comfort zone. 

Fortunately, each book chapter includes a real-world practice called a Pro Move and an exercise, both carefully crafted to help you overcome hang-ups and take more joy in communicating. 

Effective and courageous communication requires self-knowledge, practice, and a desire to grow. It is a full-body, full-mind, and full-heart effort. This book is like having a caring, expert coach along with you for the journey. 

Today, Gladieux shares these insights with us: 

Question: Of the four obstacles, which one is typically the most challenging for communicators and why? 

Gladieux: The four hidden challenges are sneaky obstacles the keep us from becoming the best communicators we can be. In my teaching and coaching practice, I've named them Hiding (fear of exposing supposed or actual weaknesses), Defining (putting too much stock into our assumptions), Rationalizing (shielding ourselves from taking chances by focusing too much thinking on what might go wrong), and Settling (stopping at "good enough" rather than striving toward deeper, braver, more meaningful interactions). 

Which hidden challenge is most relevant and difficult to overcome for communicators will vary by person, since we all have unique upbringings, strengths, weaknesses, and experiences in the world. 

I've noticed that once I gain ground in seeing and coping with one challenge (whether I'm working on myself or helping a coaching client grow), another may rear its head and require attention to be overcome. It's also worth noting that we may find a challenge we believe we've conquered can emerge again as life tests us in new ways as communicators. 

Many coaching clients find that they need to give Rationalizing a rest before they can engage in potentially rewarding communication, because pessimism certainly has power to limit our opportunities as communicators in our personal and professional lives. 

And, if we're Settling, right out of the gate we know we won't be striving to reach our communication potential in any way. 

Readers can find Pro Moves and do-able exercises delivered with love and strategy throughout the book to help them take small steps toward facing all four hidden challenges and their communication fears. 

Question: At what point or stage in a person's career is your book most helpful and why? 

Gladieux: Communicate with Courage was built to help young adults through seniors make a difference in the world as communicators. 

As long as you're breathing and can speak and/or write, you can strive to summon courage to grow as a message sender and receiver. It's been wonderful to hear about people gifting this book to their 87-year-old grandmother and to their graduating high school senior. Throughout adulthood, we need to keep questioning our beliefs, sharing about ourselves in ways that can be helpful to others (as we help ourselves), and taking leaps of faith in communication.

 Michelle Gladieux

Michelle Gladieux is President of Gladieux Consulting, a Midwest-based team known for the design and presentation of seminars in communication and leadership topics around the U.S. 

She facilitates strategic planning and executive coaching for clients in diverse industries, in governments, at non-profits, and in academia. She has 18 years of collegiate teaching experience at three universities. She's worked as a Human Resources and Training Director in the cold storage, robotics, and construction industries and enjoys visiting conferences as a keynote speaker and workshop presenter. 

Thank you to the book’s publisher for sending me an advance copy of the book.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How To Become Your Best-Self Leader Everyday

“By focusing in specific ways on five key leadership elements— Purpose, Process, People, Presence, and Peace —you can increase your time, capacity, energy, and ultimately your leadership impact,” explains Amy Jen Su , author of the book, The Leader You Want To Be: Five Essential Principles for Bringing Out Your Best Self—Every Day . Su shares both Western management thinking and Eastern philosophy to provide a holistic yet hands-on approach to becoming a more effective leader with less stress and more equanimity. She draws on rich and instructive stories of clients, leaders, artists, and athletes. And, she focuses on three foundational tenets: s elf-care, self-awareness, and personal agency . Most important, Su explores in depth, chapter-by-chapter the Five Ps : Purpose – Staying grounded in your passions and contributions, doing your highest and best work that has meaning and is making a difference. Process – Relying on daily practices and routines that honor your natural energy rhyt...

The Five Critical Roles You Need To Build A Winning Team

The book, Team Players , by leadership expert and New York Times bestselling author, Mark Murphy , explains why a team needs more than strong leaders—it needs the right mix of five roles and talents to succeed.   In addition, Murphy reveals that the secret to extraordinary teams isn’t making everyone the same—it’s embracing and leveraging fundamental differences through those five distinct team roles. No amount of teambuilding, trust, or cohesion can overcome having the wrong mix of people in the room.   The five essential roles and talents are :   The Director assumes a leadership role within the team, guiding its direction and making important, difficult, and even unpopular decisions.   The Achiever immerses themselves in the details of accomplishing tasks and getting things done, with a keen eye for delivering error-free work.   The Stabilizer keeps the team on track with meticulous planning, processes and procedures, clear timelines, and organization. ...

Daily Intentions For Leaders

Everyone can benefit from the book, Dear Friend , which features bite-sized, daily notes for contemplation, inspiration, connection, and clarity. Busy and stressed business leaders can particularly benefit from the 365 profound, heartfelt reflections from author Michelle Maros , founder of Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life and cohost of the podcast, Life Happens with Barb and Michelle .   Dear Friend invites readers to go deep and use the notes as a daily practice that compounds over time, nurturing strength, resilience, and clarity.   In just a few minutes each day, this book will offer you a daily reprieve when you feel burned out, beaten down, or overwhelmed by the strains and stresses of modern life.   The heart of Dear Friend began in the quiet mornings Michelle shared with her mom, Barb. Every day, they would sit together, reading affirmations or passages from Barb’s beloved books. These small rituals—simple but powerful—set the tone for each day, grounding them in g...

Seven Ways To Stay Motivated

To learn how to stay motivated, read High-Profit Prospecting , by Mark Hunter . It's a powerful read that includes counter intuitive advice and cutting-edge best practices for sales prospecting in today's business world. Today, I share one of my favorite sections of the book where Hunter describes his seven things motivated people do to stay motivated : Motivated people ignore voices in their lives . These might be people in the office and friends who have bad attitudes. They're out there, and if you're not careful, they'll control you, too. Motivated people associate with highly motivated people . Just as there are negative people in the world, there are also positive people. Your job is to make sure you spend as much time with the positive people as possible.  Motivated people simply look for the positive in things . Positive people count it an honor to live each day, learn from others, and impact positively those they meet. Positive people take great satisfaction...

Effective Listening: Do's And Don'ts

Here are some great tips from Michelle Tillis Lederman's book, The 11 Laws of Likability .  They are all about: what to do and what not to do to be a leader who's an effective listener : Do : Maintain eye contact Limit your talking Focus on the speaker Ask questions Manage your emotions Listen with your eyes and ears Listen for ideas and opportunities Remain open to the conversation Confirm understanding, paraphrase Give nonverbal messages that you are listening (nod, smile) Ignore distractions Don't : Interrupt Show signs of impatience Judge or argue mentally Multitask during a conversation Project your ideas Think about what to say next Have expectations or preconceived ideas Become defensive or assume you are being attacked Use condescending, aggressive, or closed body language Listen with biases or closed to new ideas Jump to conclusions or finish someone's sentences

How To Maximize Employee Involvement

Here are 10 tips for how to maximize employee involvement : Have active ways to listen to your employees. Check often with employees to see if the information you are sharing with them is what they need and what they want. Share information about customer satisfaction with employees. Discuss financial performance with your employees and be sure everyone understands the importance of profitability and how they can contribute to profitability. Allow ad hoc teams among employees to form to address organizational problems and work with those teams to tackle the identified issues. Encourage employees to make suggestions for improvement whether those ideas are large or small. Take an idea from one employee and share it with other employees and teams and let everyone make a contribution to build upon that idea. Train! For long-term employees, find ways to keep their jobs interesting through new assignments and challenges. Conduct meetings around specific issues and brai...

Six Leadership Actions To Leverage Employees' Differences To Strengthen Teams

The new book, All The Difference: Six Leadership Actions To Bridge Perspectives, Strengthen Teams, and Create Value , teaches how leaders can turn their team's individual differences into deeper trust, greater creativity, and winning results.   “The greatest risk of unmanaged difference isn’t conflict: it lies in the ideas, insights, and opportunities that may never surface,” explain the book’s authors, Susan MacKenty Brady , Stuart D. Kliman , and Lt. Gen. (Ret.) Leslie C. Smith .   They suggest that you look around your team to fully see people with different communication styles, perspectives, cultural norms, and capabilities. These differences are expressed in all kinds of ways, such as casual gestures in a meeting, a colleague's opinion on a current event, or an intense work style.   Often, those differences can lead to friction, even conflict. You may try to manage around them. But, for you and your organization to fully leverage the strengths of your team’s diffe...

Four Ways To Put People First In Your Company

According to a survey as reported in John Baldoni’s book, Lead with Purpose , more than 80 percent of those surveyed say that leaders can best demonstrate that they truly do put people first by : Delivering intrinsic awards (comp time, bonuses, etc.)  Offering developmental opportunities  Providing timely recognition  Promoting from within

The Enemy Of Engagement - Book Highlights

" Frustration  in the workplace is a silent killer," claim authors  Mark Royal  and  Tom Agnew  in their book,  The Enemy of Engagement . Further, "in an organizational context, frustration is not as simple as failing to get something you want.  Rather, it involves the inability to succeed in your role due to organizational barriers or the inability to bring the bulk of your individual talents, skills, and abilities to your job." Royal and Agnew further explain that a  staggering number of highly motivated, engaged, and loyal employees quit trying--or quit, period---because they feel frustrated . And what's causing all that frustration?  It's lack of  enablement .  According to Royal and Agnew, as employees grow in experience in their roles, they begin to focus less on learning the ropes and more on achieving desired results .  In the process, they are increasingly confronted with enablement constraints...

Creating A People-First Culture In Your Workplace

If you want to create a heart culture and a people-first culture at your workplace, read the book,  Advisory Leadership , by  Greg Friedman .   Although the book is authored by an award-winning financial advisor and primarily written for professionals in the financial services industry, this book is a must read for any leader who wants to create a nurturing  heart culture  that hinges on the human-centric values the next generation of employees hold in high regard. And, what exactly is  heart culture ? Friedman says, "At its core, heart culture symbolizes how a company values more than just an employee's output. It's not about the work, but rather, the  people  who do the work." He further explains that leaders can no longer afford to ignore the shift toward a people-first culture and its direct influence on a healthy, effective work environment. Friedman teaches that there are  seven steps , based on human virtues we all stri...