Skip to main content

How To Lead With Heart

Those who lead with heart consistently have discussions with their teams about their unexpressed needs, fears, desires, gifts, and sense of purpose, explain the authors of the compelling book, Leading With Heart. 

CEO coaches and authors John Baird and Edward Sullivan share that anyone can learn how to make an authentic connection with their teams in order to drive better outcomes. And their book provides readers clear and practical insights to help them succeed in making those connections. Be sure to read the highlighted key principles and takeaways at the end of every chapter.

 

Baird and Sullivan further share that workers today want to feel respected, seen and appreciated for who they are. That’s why companies with the best retention, morale, and productivity are led by leaders with heart.

 

As Alexander Den Heijer said, “When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

 

“In heart-based cultures, people feel safe pushing back and improving each other’s ideas. They communicate bad news early so it doesn’t become a larger problem. They share resources in the name of the common good, not to help personal agendas,” explain Baird and Sullivan.

 

“When we started writing, we were inspired by the question: What separates truly transformational leaders from the rest of the pack? Every year thousands of books and articles are written about the correct ways to be a leader with no clear answers. Diving deeper into our combined 40 years of coaching work and assessment, our data showed that great leaders are the most curious, caring, and insightful about themselves and their people. They have the courage to have conversations often considered taboo or too difficult.”

 

According to the authors, heart-led companies have:

  • Lower turnover
  • Decentralized decision-making
  • Healthy and constructive creative conflict
  • Rigorous debate and truth-seeking in meetings
  • Strategic alignment
  • Sharing of resources to support company goals
  • Seamless flow of crucial information leading to early problem detection

Also, Baird and Sullivan teach that leading with heart begins with developing your own understanding of yourself: your needs, your fears, your desires, and so on. “Leaders who do not have an exquisite understanding of an relationship with themselves can never hope to have conversations that unlock creativity, purpose, and results with their teams.”

 

John Baird

 

 

Edward Sullivan

 

Awhile back, Baird and Sullivan shared these additional insights:

 

What are the consequences of leading with fear instead of heart?

 

Baird/Sullivan: In cultures dominated by fear, silence and compliance become the norms rather than clear communication and open debate.

 

In fear cultures, poor ideas aren’t contested, bad news isn’t communicated, and information and resources are hoarded, which can all lead to a negative death spiral.

 

Leading with heart coaching often starts with helping leaders name their own fears. In the book, we talk about Luis and his challenges growing up with the fear of disappointing his parents. Luis is a classic imposter syndrome example, needing to control every situation. Once Luis addressed his fears and shared his story openly, the team dynamic changed.

 

What are some warning signs that psychological needs are not being met in a team?

 

Baird/Sullivan: Some signs that people’s psychological needs aren’t being met are easy to see: in-fighting, politics, hoarding information and resources.

 

These toxic behaviors are obvious. But it’s the less obvious signs that are even more important to look for: people not sharing bad news that the team can learn from, expressing disagreement through inaction rather than honest feedback, or simply falling into a state of apathy and disengagement.

 

How do you address these signs?

 

Baird/Sullivan: We might be biased, but we believe the best way to address these issues is to have honest conversations about them. And it starts with the leader getting vulnerable about their own experience.

 

Conversation starters like “I’m noticing that people are less willing to bring bad news to this meeting, and it may be a dynamic that I’ve created. I’d like to talk about what you all need me to do to fix that.” Leading with heart is about helping leaders have these conversations engaging their employees in real dialogue about what they see going on. Once leaders ask these questions, it is critical that they “hear” what their employees are saying and commit to actions for resolving the issues surfaced.

 

How do leaders help team members realize their gifts so they can be used with others?

 

Baird/Sullivan: We are all gifted at something. The problem is our true gift might be a few layers below what we are apparently good at.

 

Some junior person at an AI company might apparently be great at writing succinct memos on complex topics, so the common response is to give that person more memos to write. But what if their real gift is gleaning what information is important in extremely complex data sets? Perhaps their gift could be put to better use helping the machine learning team train the algorithm which would be much more valuable to the company. The challenge for leaders is to help teams see their underlying gifts beneath what they are apparently good at.

 

The underlying gift is where the magic and true value are. Too many companies fail to see underlying natural gifts that people have. Instead of finding a job that fits a person’s gift, companies are quick to fire people rather than find the right role. Leading with heart cultures cultivate a climate where people can be at their best in roles where their gifts are needed and valued.

 

How can leaders positively steer company culture, especially if there is a long way to go?

 

Baird/Sullivan: The first step is discussing why company culture is headed in the wrong direction. Leaders try to be inspirational and get people revved up, but that is often seen as lip service. Your people want to know that you recognize there are problems and accept responsibility for them. They want to know that they are not crazy, that there is indeed something amiss here. People know when they are being gaslighted.

 

The leader who simply delivers an inspiring speech or installs kombucha on tap rather than dealing with the core issue makes people feel less safe, not more. Resetting culture is not easy and often begins with reminding leaders to get back to their core mission and purpose, reminding themselves and their employees WHY the company exists.

 

A word that comes up a lot in the book is “empathy.” When it comes to leadership, why is empathy even more crucial today than it was five or even two years ago?

 

Baird/Sullivan: The truth of the matter is that leading with heart, which is really leading with empathy, has never been more important. Many of the routines and structures that created a sense of belonging and safety for us (e.g., going to the office every day, having lunch with coworkers, drinks at the pub after work) are gone, or, if not gone, have drastically changed. Add on top of that the toxicity in our domestic and global politics, the looming threat of an economic downturn, rising prices of everything—people are scared and tired.

 

Leaders who are unable to have conversations that show they can empathize with the daily experience of their employees and instead ask when the accounts receivable report will be done are the ones who are seeing higher turnover and lower morale.

 

Your people are suffering. Stop talking about work for a few minutes and start talking about what they need to feel resourceful again, what gifts they have that are going unexpressed in this role.

 

At the core of leading with heart is coaching leaders how to listen and hear through conversation. Too many leaders listen to respond rather than listen to hear. Start leading with heart.


Thank you to the book's publisher for sending me an advance copy of the book.

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Eights Ways To Demonstrate You Value Your Employees

There are  eight specific actions  business leaders can take to  show that they value their employees , according to  Andrew Leigh , author of the book,   Ethical Leadership -- Creating and Sustaining an Ethical Business Culture . Those  eight behaviors  are: Attention  -- Pay attention to what people say to show your interest. Listen  -- Make time to hear what colleagues, peers and employees have to say to show you care. Positive Language  -- Find words and phrases to show employees they're needed.  Examples are, "We couldn't have accomplished this without you," "That was really useful." Document  -- Put praise in writing to increase its impact.  Make clear where the credit belongs. Micro Sessions  -- Create two-way communication sessions. Visits  -- Schedule visits to teams and work areas. Stories  -- Share stories that highlight unusual contributions and provide your personal response to them. Invite  -- Ask people to contact you directly with their issue

How To Be A Go-To Person At Work

Bruce Tulgan ’s book,  The Art of Being Indispensable at Work   is   all about  how to win influence, beat overcommitment, and get the right things done in your workplace .   Tulgan says that what truly sets “go-to people” apart is how they think and what they do, including:   They understand the peculiar mathematics of real influence  – doing the right thing for the long term. They lead from wherever they are  – going vertically before going sideways (or diagonally). They know when to say no and how to say yes . They work smart  – creating checklists, step-by-step instructions, and professionalizing everything they do. They finish what they start . They get better and better at working together . They promote “go-to-ism”  – finding other indispensable people throughout the organization and building new go-to people whenever there’s a chance to do so.   Other  characteristics of indispensable people , are:   Maintaining a positive attitude Doubling down on hard work Taking personal res

The Fresh, New Approach For How Governmental Leaders Achieve Unparalleled Success

  The new book, Bridgebuilders , should be on the reading list of every public official, CEO, and civic leader. That is because throughout the book, authors William D. Eggers and Donald F. Kettl share compelling and instructive stories about some of today’s most successful bridgebuilders—federal state, and local government leaders who transcend boundaries and partner across sectors, to achieve success and meet their goals.  “Bridgebuilding is the fresh, new approach that strengthens institutions, and government agencies by breaking free from organizational boxes and rigid, top-down leadership,” explains Eggers and Kettl. “Furthermore, the outdated model that worked well at one time—identifying a problem and creating a program designed to solve it—is giving way to new, muti-sector approaches to create public value.”  The authors stress that leaders need to manage horizontally, making connections with other departments, as well as with stakeholders outside government to create ne

A Guide To Superior Management Effectiveness

Forbes  named,  A New Way To Think , as one of the 10 must-read books for 2022.  In the book, authored by  Roger L. Martin , he urges business leaders to toss out the old ways of thinking, and instead try new models in every domain of management – from competition and customers to strategy, data, culture, talent, mergers and acquisitions, and everything in-between.  More specifically, within 14 chapters, Martin explores his recommended new ways of thinking about: Competition Stakeholders Customers Strategy Data Knowledge Work Corporate Functions Planning Execution Talent Innovation Capital Investment Mergers and Acquisitions Roger L. Martin  Recently, Martin answers these questions for us:   Question: As The Great Resignation rages on, what is the most important thing leaders must know about recruiting and retaining top talent?   Martin : Leaders need to keep two things in mind in dealing with The Great Resignation.  First , a key driver is adverse reaction to talent being forced back

How To Strengthen Both The Employee And The Customer Experience In Concert

“The most successful companies are those that adopt an Experience Mindset that strengthens both employee experience (EX) and customer experience (CS) at the same time,” explains Tiffani Bova , author of the new book, The Experience Mindset: Changing the Way You Think About Growth .   The book’s teachings are based on exclusive research from two Salesforce studies of thousands of employees and c-suite executives around the globe, and further validated by hundreds of executive conversations and other industry research.  “The needs and preferences of both customers and employees must be considered with every decision made, large and small – requiring an entirely new operating mentality,” says Bova. “To remain completive in today’s marketplace, investing in people is no longer a nice-to-have, but rather a must have.”  Bova recommends that when companies are attempting to keep up with the relentless demands of customers, that they don’t favor the customer experience over the employee

Effective Listening: Do's And Don'ts

Here are some great tips from Michelle Tillis Lederman's book, The 11 Laws of Likability .  They are all about: what to do and what not to do to be a leader who's an effective listener : Do : Maintain eye contact Limit your talking Focus on the speaker Ask questions Manage your emotions Listen with your eyes and ears Listen for ideas and opportunities Remain open to the conversation Confirm understanding, paraphrase Give nonverbal messages that you are listening (nod, smile) Ignore distractions Don't : Interrupt Show signs of impatience Judge or argue mentally Multitask during a conversation Project your ideas Think about what to say next Have expectations or preconceived ideas Become defensive or assume you are being attacked Use condescending, aggressive, or closed body language Listen with biases or closed to new ideas Jump to conclusions or finish someone's sentences

6 Ways To Seek Feedback To Improve Your Performance In The Workplace

Getting feedback is an important way to improve performance at work. But sometimes, it can be hard to seek out, and even harder to hear.  “Feedback is all around you. Your job is to find it, both through asking directly and observing it,” says David L. Van Rooy, author of the new book,  Trajectory: 7 Career Strategies to Take You From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be . As today's guest post, Van Rooy offers these  six tips for how to get the feedback you need to improve performance at work . Guest Post By David L. Van Rooy 1.       Don’t forget to as k :  One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming things are going perfectly (until they make a catastrophic mistake). By not asking, you’re missing out on opportunities for deep feedback: the difficult, critical feedback that gives you constructive ways to improve. 2.       Make sure you listen :  Remember, getting feedback is about improving your performance, not turning it into a “you versus the

The Four Components That Create Customer Satisfaction

Great customer service tips from author Micah Solomon's new book, High-tech, High-touch Customer Service : You provide value when you deliver the four components that reliably create customer satisfaction : A perfect product or service Delivered in a caring, friendly manner On time (as defined by the customer) With the backing of an effective problem-resolution process Micah has been named by the Financial Post as “a new guru of customer service excellence.” He is a keynote speaker and consultant on customer service issues, the customer experience, and company culture.  He previously coauthored the bestselling Exceptional Service, Exceptional Profit .      

Business And Leadership Quotes That Inspire Me

These quotes truly inspire me : “The three common characteristics of best companies -- they care, they have fun, they have high performance expectations.” -- Brad Hams “The one thing that's common to all successful people: They make a habit of doing things that unsuccessful people don't like to do.” -- Michael Phelps “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." -- Harry S. Truman “The leader of the past was a person who knew how to tell. The leader of the future will be a person who knows how to ask.” -- Peter Drucker “Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” -- Dwight D. Eisenhower “Good leadership isn't about advancing yourself.  It's about advancing your team.” -- John C. Maxwell "People buy into the leader, then the vision.” -- John C. Maxwell “Great leaders have courage, tenacity and patience.” -- Bill McBean "People never lear