Skip to main content

How To Transform Work Relationships From Challenging To Collaborative

 

“Very few of us ever learned how to be present with another person, to ignore internal and external noise and distractions, and to connect and converse with others in useful or collaborative ways,” affirm the authors of the new book, Bridge The Gap: Breakthrough Communication Tools To Transform Work Relationships From Challenging To Collaborative

In addition, authors Jennifer Edwards and Katie McCleary, share that there are four external forces that make navigating professional relationships increasingly bumpy

  • Four generations of people wake every day to go to work, together.
  • The personal and the professional are intermingling in new and surprising ways.
  • We are working under the conditions of an increasingly polarized landscape of politics, race, and media disinformation.
  • We’re blind to the fact that each of us are part of the problem. 

Primarily because of these author-identified factors, they wrote their book to focus on the how rather than just the why of fostering better communication. 

Through practical exercises, stories, illustrative case studies, chapter-by-chapter reflection questions and action items, you’ll learn how to harness the real and raw power of your mind to build solid workplace relationships for virtually any situation. 

For example, three primary ways to foster better professional relationships are to: 

  • Take personal responsibly for how you show up in the relationship and/or in each interaction.
  • Use curiosity as a reliable tool and international filter for how you listen, speak, and engage in relationship building.
  • Communicate openly so that all parties can speak their minds and truths to find a way forward. 

·    And, most important, the authors encourage you to be the person in the relationship to choose to bridge the gap of differences, especially in moments of pressure and stress. 

Edwards and McCleary also remind us that when communicating we need to remind ourselves of everyone’s emotional needs

  • To be understood.
  • To be accepted.
  • To be valued. 

Some of my other takeaway valuable lessons from the book are: 

  • A smile goes a long way toward building connections and bridging gaps.
  • Don’t interrupt. Period.
  • Never make a point without telling a short-story example.
  • Build more trust and respect by celebrating others—see others in complimentary ways that often go unnoticed. 

 

Katie McCleary and Jennifer Edwards

Today, the authors share these insights with us: 

Question: Because of the four larger external forces that you mention in your book do you believe Bridge The Gap is a must-read for nearly everyone? 

Edwards & McCleary: Anyone can benefit from improved communication and collaborative skills; especially given the polarization we’ve been through as a nation in the past few years. Diverse relationships are critical to our success as humans because we can’t do everything on our own. We need people who have different talents, ideas, skills, and perspectives, so learning how to meaningfully connect and engage with someone who is different than you is important. 

Quality communication and collaboration begins with how we “show up” and engage in conversations that can bridge the difference gap between us. Anyone can use the tools in, Bridge the Gap, to immediately connect better to anyone…and even mend a divide.                        

Question: How do you recommend a reader of the book steps up to the plate to become the "one person to choose to bridge the gap"? 

Edwards & McCleary: First, it’s about choice and making an intentional commitment to be the one who suspends fear, frustration, doubt, anger, or any other number of intense feelings, and become the one who believes “we can have a better relationship.” 

Often, we build narratives in our heads that there is an immense canyon between us and rarely that is the case. There is more that unites than divides people, especially at work where we strive to reach a common goal: the mission, vision, purpose. Second, bridging the gap requires some psychological flexibility to be able to show up curious to hear and learn something new. 

Question: There is so much to learn from, Bridge The Gap. What is the best way for a reader to start their journey to become a more collaborative communicator? 

Edwards & McCleary: First, most people aren’t great communicators because it’s not something that we teach from a young age forward. Most of us are modeling behaviors from the environments and cultures in which we were raised as youth and as young professionals. We all have our personal preferences about how work should be completed, how people should behave, and/or what to do in any given situation. True collaboration is about creating something new and together. It’s about using the “playdough” of skills, talent, ideas, and perspectives that are brought forth in the relationship and crafting something, together. 

Staying too much on your side of “this is how it should be done,” diminishes the level of collaboration, innovation, and creativity that can exist. Communicating with a “we” mentality goes a long way in letting go of the egotistical “I.” It’s where the trust, respect, and magic happens.  

Thank you to the book’s publisher for sending me an advance copy of the book.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What Business Leaders Need To Know About AI

Mastering AI  by  Jeremy Kahn  is absolutely a must-read for every business leader who wants to better understand the history and evolution of AI (Artificial Intelligence), and more important, the promise and perils of AI for businesses and society. Even if you think you have a basic understanding of AI, this book is an essential resource for you.   That is because Kahn delivers not only a timely, thorough and thought-provoking examination of AI’s benefits to humanity as well as its potentially chilling dangers, but also and vitally, a declaration for how we should proceed as AI evolves. Reading  Mastering AI  reminded me of the popular  The Popcorn Report  by Faith Popcorn – where in 1992 she identified and forecasted trends to chart the future's impact on our businesses, our lives, and our world.  Similarly,  Fortune  magazine journalist, Kahn, draws on his expertise and extensive contacts among the companies and scientists at the...

Great Business Quote

Here's a great quote from author and speaker Harvey Mackay : "When a person with money meets a person with experience, the person with the experience ends up with the money, and the person with the money ends up with the experience."

How To Unleash Your Full Potential

To accomplish something great, author   Matt Higgins   says you need to toss your Plan B overboard and   burn the boats . “You have to give yourself no escape route, no chance to ever turn back. You throw away your backup plans and your push forward, no longer bogged down by the infinite ways in which we hedge our own successes.” You’ll learn plenty more about what it means to burn the boats, how to unleash your full potential, and how to tear down your barriers to achieving success in Higgins’ new book,  Burn The Boats  – a business-advice and self-help book. Five of the most powerful takeaways are these according to Higgins: Trust your instincts and reject conventional wisdom : We are the only ones who know the full extent of our gifts, and the paths we are meant to follow. Proprietary insights are the keys to game-changing businesses : you don’t need a unique project to start an empire, just an intuition all your own. Your deepest flaws can be fuel for your g...

Use A Board Of Advisors

David Burkus often provides valuable comments to my various Blog postings, and he's a person who effectively uses a board of advisors, instead of mentors, to help him achieve success. "I've found that in my life, it was easier and more effective to set up a board of advisors," said Burkus, the editor of LeaderLab . "This is a group of people, three to five, that have rotated into my life at various times and that speak into it and help me grow. I benefit from the variety of experience these people have." LeaderLab is an online community of resources dedicated to promoting the practice of leadership theory. Its contributors include consultants and professors who present leadership theory in a practitioner-friendly format that provides easy-to-follow explanations on how to apply the best of leadership theory. Community users can download a variety of research reports and presentations about leadership and leadership versus management. For example, a pr...

How To Improve Your Internal Communication Skills

Here is this week's book recommendation.  It's a quick read, yet power-packed with useful tips for communicating effectively -- tips you can start to use tomorrow.  And, the eBook is free! As author David Grossman says, "good internal communication gets the message out, but great internal communication helps employees connect the dots between overarching business strategy and their role. When it’s good, it informs; when it’s great, it engages employees and moves them to action. Quite simply, it helps people and organizations be even better." I really found this book useful.

Top Five Factors That Drive Employee Loyalty

A 2010 survey by the Society for Human Resource Management shows that job security is what matters most to employees. And, having that job security helps to keep employees loyal.  Okay, that's really not too surprising during these times of high unemployment. Next on the list is benefits . The unstable economy, coupled with rising health care costs, make employer offered benefits more important than ever. Third on the top five list is an employee's opportunity to use his/her skills . When employees feel good about their jobs and their abilities, and clearly know they are contributing to their organization they remain engaged and loyal.  In fourth place is an organization's financial stability . Compensation came in fifth on the top five list. Employee pay often is not the most important driver for employee retention.  Despite study after study that shows pay is not the top reason employees stay with a company, research results like these often surpris...

5 Reasons To Do An Employee Survey

Business leaders who wonder whether they should conduct an employee survey should think about these five good reasons for conducting surveys, as recommended by John Kador and Katherine J. Armstrong in their book, Perfect Phrases for Writing Employee Surveys : 1.  To discover what employees are thinking and doing – in a nonthreatening survey environment. You will learn what motivates employees and what is important to them. 2.  To prioritize the organization’s actions based on objective results – rather than relying on subjective information or your best guesses. 3.  To provide a benchmark – or a snapshot of your employees and their attitudes at a certain point of time that you can then compare to future surveys to spot trends. 4.  To communicate the importance of key topics to employees – by communicating with employees the survey results that shows your organization is listening to employees. 5.  To collect the combined brainpower and ideas of the wor...

5 Tips For Generating Ideas From Employees

Your employees have lots of ideas.  So, be sure you provide the forums and mechanisms for your employees to share their ideas with you.  Hold at least a few brainstorming sessions each year, as well. And, when you are brainstorming with your employees, try these five tips: Encourage ALL ideas.  Don't evaluate or criticize ideas when they are first suggested. Ask for wild ideas.  Often, the craziest ideas end up being the most useful. Shoot for quantity not quality during brainstorming. Encourage everyone to offer new combinations and improvements of old ideas.

Give Positive Feedback. Don't Praise.

There is an important difference between giving your employees positive feedback and giving them praise . Positive feedback focuses on the specifics of job performance. Praise, often one-or two-sentence statements, such as “Keep up the good work,” without positive feedback leaves employees with empty feelings. Worse yet, without positive feedback, employees feel no sense that they are appreciated as individual talents with specific desires to learn and grow on the job and in their careers, reports Nicholas Nigro, author of, The Everything Coaching and Mentoring Book . So, skip the praise and give positive feedback that is more uplifting to your employees because it goes to the heart of their job performance and what they actually do. An example of positive feedback is : “Bob, your communications skills have dramatically improved over the past couple of months. The report that you just prepared for me was thorough and concise. I appreciate all the work you’ve put into it, as...

Critical Questions To Ask New Hires

In  Paul Falcone ’s book,  75 Ways For Managers To Hire, Develop And Keep Great Employees , he recommends asking new employees the following questions 30, 60 and 90 days after they were hired:   30-Day One-on-One Follow-Up Questions Why do you think we selected you as an employee? What do you like about the job and the organization so far? What’s been going well? What are the highlights of your experiences so far? Why? Tell me what you don’t understand about your job and about our organization now that you’ve had a month to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty. Have you faced any unforeseen surprises since joining us that you weren’t expecting?   60-Day One-on-One Follow-Up Questions Do you have enough, too much or too little time to do your work? Do you have access to the appropriate tools and resources? Do you feel you have been sufficiently trained in all aspects of your job to perform at a high level? How do you see your job relating to the organization’...