Skip to main content

How To Be Your Best Self And Leader Every Day


“By focusing in specific ways on five key leadership elements—Purpose, Process, People, Presence, and Peace—you can increase your time, capacity, energy, and ultimately your leadership impact,” explains Amy Jen Su, author of the book (released today, October 22), The Leader You Want To Be: Five Essential Principles for Bringing Out Your Best Self—Every Day.

Su shares both Western management thinking and Eastern philosophy to provide a holistic yet hands-on approach to becoming a more effective leader with less stress and more equanimity. She draws on rich and instructive stories of clients, leaders, artists, and athletes. And, she focuses on three foundational tenets: self-care, self-awareness, and personal agency.

Most important, Su explores in depth, chapter-by-chapter the Five Ps:
  • Purpose – Staying grounded in your passions and contributions, doing your highest and best work that has meaning and is making a difference.
  • Process – Relying on daily practices and routines that honor your natural energy rhythms, enhance performance, save time and that provide critical guardrails that keep you on point.
  • People – Raising your game by raising the game of others at work and at home.
  • Presence – Strengthening your inner capacity to pause between stimulus and response, so matters of effectiveness and impact drive decisions and actions, rather than old habits or knee-jerk impulses.
  • Peace – Learning to trust your capacities to evolve, adapt, and respond to whatever comes your way. And, how to lead from a place of acceptance, gratitude, and trust, rather than a place of stress, striving, and ego protection. 
As you read the book, you’ll learn how to:
  • Prioritize, elevate, tolerate or eliminate tasks.
  • Protect time and maximize energy.
  • Find balance in calendar commitments.
  • Build a strategic network—by getting comfortable asking others for help and reaching out to the right people.
  • Create new if-then scenarios to how to give yourself the power of choice.
  • Acknowledge your feelings and take constructive action for what’s within your control.
  • Set a barometer for what’s enough and how to have an attitude of gratitude.

 Amy Jen Su

Today, Su shares this additional advice and recommendations:

QuestionOf the 5 Ps you consider Purpose to be the most essential. Why?

Su: I do consider purpose and your ability to reset the internal compass as needed, the most essential of the 5 Ps. It is easy, in the face of heavy workloads and other people’s demands, to feel like you’ve been ejected from the driver’s seat of life. Being connected to your purpose puts you squarely back in that driver’s seat – giving a greater sense of control, lifting you out of the day-to-day grind, and providing a way of sorting your yes’ and no’s more strategically.

To make purpose more tangible, I like to break it down into two component parts: your contribution and your passion. Bringing focus on contribution ensures that your time and energy is utilized on that which adds the highest value. Bringing focus on passion ensures that you are energized by what you do. Look for the goals, initiatives and projects which sit at the intersection of both contribution and passion and you’ll get an additional positive boost in performance, energy, and satisfaction.

Question: You also talk about the power of People. Why is it necessary to build a strategic network of support, and get more comfortable as a leader in asking for help from others?

Su: It is critical – as you take on increasingly larger and exciting roles – to recognize the power of people. The reality is no matter how effective or productive you are, you will eventually be capped by your own capacity. There are only 24 hours in a day and unfortunately, as much as we might like to, we can’t clone ourselves.

However, the fundamental mindset shift from “I want to raise my game” to “I raise my game by raising the game of others” is not an easy one to make. It means not jumping in and taking over every time anxiety or control gets the better of you. It means being able to increasingly let go more and getting more comfortable asking for help from others. Asking for help is hard and can feel vulnerable – either in your not wanting to appear weak or not feeling like you are putting others out.

It’s important to build a strong network of support and surround yourself with other people to help achieve big goals. Consider the other experts you can learn from even if you are an expert in your own right. Find those helicopters who can provide a more elevated view and perspective. Ask others to be your accountability buddy to ensure you follow-through. Have sausage makers you can brainstorm with. And, ultimately know who the cheerleaders or safe harbors are you can count on. The best relationships include a healthy give and take so support others in these same ways as well.



Question: As we advance in our careers, the focus is less on us, and more about what we can do for others. How can we find the Peace necessary to help us positively transform our teams and our organizations?

Su: As we advance in our careers, the focus is less on us and begins to shift to being more about what we can do for others. For many professionals, legacy, life purpose, and giving back move to the forefront at this stage. Coming to peace within ourselves is a necessary ingredient for being able to positively transform our teams and organizations.

When we are not at peace – we risk actions stemming out of striving, agitation or reaction. We are more focused on proving ourselves, proving we are right, or feeling the pressure to show we have all the answers. This stance shuts down our capacity to learn, to listen, or to be fully present with others.

To help find a greater peace within, focus on cultivating three important components of peace: acceptance, contentment, and trust:
  • Acceptance is a first critical component of peace because, the more you resist or oppose what is happening, the more energy you lose. It’s critical to acknowledge and feel your feelings but not be run by them. It is then easier to take constructive action for what’s within your control. 
  • Contentment is a second critical component of peace, because without it, you can become mired in negativity. Having an internal barometer for what’s enough and having an attitude of gratitude can help. 
  • Finally, cultivating trust in yourself and remembering that you have successfully overcome many learning curves and challenges before can help you to navigate new opportunities with greater ease.
As your leadership actions stem less from self-preservation or ego protection, the door for greater meaning and being in service of a larger mission and vision with others becomes more possible.

Su is Managing Partner and Cofounder of Paravis Partners, an executive coaching and leadership development firm. Her previous bestselling book is, Own the Room: Discover Your Signature Voice to Master your Leadership Presence.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Flashback: Best New Leadership Book Of 2014

  Flashback to this post from early 2015 : After reading nearly 40 books about leadership released this year, my pick for the very best new leadership book of 2014 is,  The Front-Line Leader: Building a High-Performance Organization from the Ground Up , by  Chris Van Gorder . This book is my top choice because it : Covers the issues most important to today's workplace leaders Provides "real-world" and practical everyday steps you can take Gives you  specific  techniques and tactics Tells powerful, life-experience stories Capsulizes "Take Action" to do’s for you at the end of each chapter Reveals how to create a culture of accountability that creates a high-performing organization with a competitive advantage And,  most important, because the entire premise of the book  is: People come first! Today, Van Gorder is the  President and CEO at Scripps Health , one of America’s foremost health systems with 14,000 employees and 2,600 affiliated physicians...

How to Be a Leader – 9 Principles from Dale Carnegie

Today, I welcome thought-leader Nathan Magnuson as guest blogger... Nathan writes : This is it, your first day in a formal leadership role.   You’ve worked hard as an individual contributor at one or possibly several organizations.   Now management has finally seen fit to promote you into a position as one of their own: a supervisor.   You don’t care if your new team is only one person or ten, you’re just excited that now – finally – you will be in charge! Unfortunately the euphoria is short-lived.   Almost immediately, you are not only overwhelmed with the responsibilities of a team, but you quickly find that your team members are not as experienced or adroit as you.   Some aren’t even as committed.   You find yourself having to repeat yourself, send their work back for corrections, and staying late to fill the gap.   If something doesn’t change soon, you might just run yourself into the ground.   How did something that looked so easy ...

How To Give Praise To An Employee

Years ago, Entrepreneur magazine offered these timeless and valuable tips on how to give praise : Praise followed by criticism is not praise. Praise followed by praise is probably a little too much praise. Ending an expression of praise with "...and stuff" nullifies the praise. And, Make it timely. The closer the recognition is to the behavior, the more likely the behavior will be repeated. Be sincere. Be impromptu.  Remember, a handwritten note is worth more than a gift card. Having trouble writing your handwritten note of praise? Try this template to get you started : _______, I couldn't be more impressed with how you______.  Not only did you____, but also you_______.  Beautiful. Thanks, ________

Leadership Lessons From A Serial Entrepreneur

Brad Jacobs’ new book provides you a treasure trove of leadership lessons from a man with more than four decades of CEO and serial entrepreneur experience. So, even if you don’t envision yourself wanting to earn a billion dollars, don’t pass up reading Jacob’s, How To Make A Few Billion Dollars .   In the book, Jacobs defines the mindset that drives his remarkable success in corporate America  –  and distills a lifetime of business brilliance into a tactical road map. And he shares his techniques for:   Turning a healthy fear of failure to your advantage. Building an outrageously talented team. Catalyzing electric meetings. Transforming a company into a superorganism that beats the competition.   “This book is about what I’ve learned from my blunders, and how you can replicate our successes,” says Jacobs. He shares his candid account of the highs and lows of entrepreneurship.  Jacobs has founded seven billion-dollar or multibillion-dollar businesse...

How To Make Smarter Decisions In The Age Of AI

  Artificial Intelligence (AI)  promises to improve worker productivity  with the potential to automate activities accounting for a  large share of our workday . Organizations are increasingly relying on AI technology for everything from simple, everyday tasks to complex decision-making.    “Yet, most of us are using AI ineffectively, allowing it to lead us rather than the other way around,” says Cheryl Strauss Einhorn , author of the new book, The Human Edge: Smarter Decisions In The Age Of AI .   The book is an essential, empowering, and timely guide for professionals, leaders, and teams who want to make better, more confident choices when using AI systems. It offers practical tools to help frame problems and surface solutions, using AI to augment—not replace—your judgment.     More specifically, Einhorn provides a step-by-step guide for AI-supported decision-making techniques, such as:    Breadth to Depth:  Knowing when and ...

How To Become More Courageous

“Fear creates the gap between who you are and who you can be. Courage closes it,” explains Margie Warrell, PhD , author of the book, The Courage Gap: 5 Steps To Braver Action .  “To clarify, closing your courage gap is not about 'de-risking' your life or sheltering from problems—natural and human created. Rather, it is about bringing the bravest version of yourself to every situation,” adds Dr. Warrell.  That includes actively taking on rough problems, doing what is unpopular, facing storms head-on, and maybe even reshaping the broader landscape in the process. Dr. Warrell empowers us to recognize that courage is a learnable skill accessible to everyone, regardless of how risk-averse, timid, or defensive we may be.  Additionally, for leaders , The Courage Gap provides a guide to operationalize and scale the courage mindset across your team and organization to deepen trust, dismantle silos, foster innovation, accelerate learning, and unleash collective courage toward a ...

How To Uncover Your Blindspots To Become A Better Leader

What you don't see about yourself can hold you back as a leader. That's typical for many leaders. What we don't see is what we  can't  see: we have  blindspots . Your blindspots prevent you from achieving your greatest success.  “It turns out that we're often not great judges of ourselves, even when we think we are. Sometimes we're simply unaware of a behavior or trait that's causing problems,” explains  Martin Dubin , author of the new book,  Blindspotting: How To See What’s Holding You Back As A Leader . “Bottom line: until we uncover these blindspots, we can't move forward. The good news is that you can learn to do your own  blindspotting .”   “Most of us understand the idea of blindspots in a general sense—areas we can’t see, to take the term most literally, or places we have gaps that we may not even realize, to be a little more abstract,” says Dubin.  “But in the context of this book, I’m defining blindspots quite specifically: They are...

What's The Future Of Business By Brian Solis

Incredibly relevant.  Highly visual.  Timely.  Enlightening.  Instructive.  Scary. These are all words I use to describe Brian Solis' new book, What's The Future (WTF) Of Business -- Changing The Way Businesses Create Experiences . You can likely already imagine that I consider this a must-read book for any business owner and any leader -- even leaders who manage businesses that don't directly connect with consumers. WTF is incredibly relevant and timely because Solis explores the non-stop transformation happening in business today, driven by new social and mobile technologies. The book is highly visual because it's the quality of a coffee-table style book, packed with compelling graphics, bright colors and a design that makes for easy reading -- all delivered on top-notch paper. And, it's enlightening and instructive , because the book delivers real-world examples that can guide you as you shape your business. Plus, WTF is scary .  ...

Ridiculously Practical Leadership By Nathan Magnuson

  What I like most about Nathan Magnuson ’s leadership books is how immediately actionable and practical his teachings are.   His latest book, Ridiculously Practical Leadership: The One-Step Approach To Immediate High Performance , is a perfect example.   There is no fluff, no theory, just straight-up practical application covering 20 skill topics ranging from decision-making to difficult conversations to giving feedback to leading change and servant leadership .   “For twenty years I’ve studied leadership development. I’ve had a front row seat to many incredible leaders and others who meant well but got stuck in the all-too-familiar rut of too-long training classes emphasizing theory over application with little to show for the investment,” says Magnuson.   That’s why I wrote Ridiculously Practical Leadership . So, if you’re looking for an approach to leadership development that CEOs, CFOs and CHROs can all support and team leaders can't live without, this...

10 Quotes From The 5 Levels Of Leadership -- John C. Maxwell

Soon I'll post my full review of John C. Maxwell's latest book, The 5 Levels of Leadership .  In the meantime, here are some of my favorites quotes from the book that I believe should become a must-read book by any workplace/organizational leader: Good leadership isn't about advancing yourself.  It's about advancing your team. Leaders become great, not because of their power, but because of their ability to empower others. Leadership is action, not position. When people feel liked, cared for, included, valued, and trusted, they begin to work together with their leader and each other. If you have integrity with people, you develop trust.  The more trust you develop, the stronger the relationship becomes.  In times of difficulty, relationships are a shelter.  In times of opportunity, they are a launching pad. Good leaders must embrace both care and candor. People buy into the leader, then the vision. Bringing out the best in a person is often a catal...