Skip to main content

How To Become A Conversational Superstar

Each year, I select my pick for the best new leadership book released that year.

As published earlier on my blog, my pick for 2023, was When Everyone Leads. 

Some years, among the many books about leadership that I read, there is another book that is so good, it becomes my runner up for the best new leadership book of the year.

That runner-up book for 2023 is, The Communication Code, by Jeremie Kubicek and Steven Cockram. 

“Effective communication is the lifeblood of every healthy relationship,” explain Kubicek and Cockram, whether that relationship is at work or at home. And effective communication is essential for successful leadership. 

Fortunately, the authors' book provides a proven series of easy-to-implement skills, techniques and powerful strategies via what they call the Communication Code that anyone can use to make their communication, relationships deeper and more productive. 

“Using five simple code words, you can verbally reach people with what they are expecting from you,” explain the authors. 

Those five code words are: 

  1. Care – being concerned for someone and desiring to do something for their good.
  2. Celebration – to acknowledge (a significant or happy day or event) with a social gathering or enjoyable activity.
  3. Clarification – to make (a statement or situation) less confusing and more clearly understandable.
  4. Collaboration – to work jointly on an activity, mainly to produce or create something.
  5. Critique – a careful judgment in which someone gives an opinion. 

The more self-aware you are and the more you practice the Communication Code, the more natural it will be for you to understand the person with whom you are communicating. The Communication Code book helps you set up conversations and communication in a way that creates a win-win scenario for everyone involved.

More specifically explain the authors, you will learn how to explicitly prompt someone to respond in a productive and meaningful way, fostering successful and fruitful interactions. The Communication Code delineates how to set the parameters of a conversation from the outset, preventing misunderstandings and miscommunication, and highlights recognizing the power dynamics of interactions to help.

Finally, I selected this book as the runner up for best new leadership book of 2023, because there is no better time than now to improve one’s communication skills.

The book will help you: 

  • Connect and communicate effectively with your team, your family, and your friends.
  • Define the parameters of a conversation from the outset to avoid any misunderstandings.
  • Understand the power dynamics of an interaction to eliminate the fear of honest conversation.
  • Offer constructive criticism without offending or disappointing the person on the other side.
  • Maximize your situational awareness and collaborate like a pro. 

Today, the authors share this additional insight with us:

 

Question: Why is your book more timely now than in say a decade ago?

 

Kubicek & Cockram: We believe the deepest need of all human beings is, and always has been, to feel truly heard, valued and appreciated in the relationships they care most about.


However, the digital revolution has been rapidly changing the nature of how we communicate with each other, and this was only accelerated still further with the restrictions imposed during the Covid pandemic.


In a world that has never been as connected, we would argue that human beings have never been more disconnected, and the loneliness statistics are frightening. Learning to communicate effectively in the digital world requires a higher level of relational intelligence because attention spans have diminished, and most people are addicted to their smart phones.


Without increasing self-awareness and the use of tools like the Communication Code, relationships will continue to break down and the social, psychological and economic costs will be enormous.


Sadly, we have concluded that long term healthy relationships in the digital world are now the exception not the norm, so we wrote The Communication Code and developed the GiANT tools to play our part in helping to reverse this trend.


Whether you're a business professional looking to enhance your leadership skills, a parent striving to strengthen your family bonds, or simply someone who wants to navigate the complex world of human relationships more effectively, this book is for you.

 

Thank you to the book’s publisher for sending me a copy of the book.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

3 Things To Avoid When You Give Your Next Speech

If you don't want to get your speech off to a bad start, the communications experts at Speechworks suggest you: Don't apologize (particularly about your anxiety or lack of preparation. Apologies put your audience on the defensive. Don't start by telling a joke (which may not be all that funny, or is irrelevant, or that may even be offensive to someone in your audience). Don't beat around the bush (including, don't list off a lot of people you want to thank. Don't waste your audience's valuable time) Instead: If you need to deal with your anxiety, practice like crazy . Rehearse particularly your first line over and over. Start your presentation by laying out for your audience a key issue that they are facing in their business . If you must thank someone, do it at the end, or thank your introducer briefly, pause, and then start right into the meat of your message .

How To Make One Bold Move A Day

  Shanna A. Hocking ’s new book, One Bold Move A Day , is all about meaningful actions women can take to fulfill their leadership and career potential.   Specially, Hocking reveals the transformative mindsets needed to make one Bold Move a day. Those are: Gratitude Mindset And Mindset Happiness Mindset Progress Mindset   “Each of these four mindsets individually plays a special role in the process of continuously showing up for yourself and others,” explains Hocking. “Each mindset contributes in a different way to your success, but they all complement each other and together they will become the foundation to your Bold Move Mindset.”   Hocking explains in her book that a Bold Move is one that challenges you to grow . “Sometimes it’s about capitalizing on an opportunity, and sometimes it’s about creating that opportunity for yourself,” explains Hocking.   Keep in mind, too, that a Bold Move for you might not be the same as someone else’s.   ...

High-Performing Teams Are Made Of This

According to Ron Ricci and Carl Wiese, authors of the book,  The Collaboration Imperative , high-performing teams have the following characteristics: People have solid and deep trust in each other and in the team's purpose--they feel free to express feelings and ideas. Everybody is working toward the same goals. Team members are clear on how to work together and how to accomplish tasks. Everyone understands both team and individual performance goals and knows what is expected. Team members actively diffuse tension and friction in a relaxed and informal atmosphere. The team engages in extensive discussion, and everyone gets a chance to contribute--even the introverts. Disagreement is viewed as a good thing and conflicts are managed.  Criticism is constructive and is oriented toward problem solving and removing obstacles. The team makes decisions when there is natural agreement--in the cases where agreement is elusive, a decision is made by the team lead or executiv...

5 Compelling Benefits Of Having An Ethical Culture

In  Andrew Leigh's  book,  Ethical Leadership , he provides these compelling and important benefits of having an  ethical culture  in your business/organization: Customers prefer dealing with companies who put ethics at the center of their culture. Most employees would prefer to earn less working for an ethical company than being paid more and working for an unethical company. More than one in three people at work say they've left a job because they've disagreed with the company's ethical standards ( Trevino, L and Nelson, K - 2011 ) If you adopt an early warning system against misconduct it reduces the risk of you facing expensive litigation. An ethical culture helps you make your company a strong affirming place to work in. "The foundations of an ethical culture include values, attitudes, meaning, behaviors, purpose, and management practices," explains Leigh.

The Playbook For CEOs To Lead Under Pressure

“Most CEOs spend years mastering strategy, finance, operations, and execution,” says author Andrea Petrone , “Far fewer spend time defining who they are as leaders.” He adds that all too often the leadership style that got a CEO to the top becomes the very thing holding them back.   More specifically, after more than two decades coaching CEOs and senior executives at Shell, Unilever, Takeda, EssilorLuxottica, and PwC, Petrone noticed a pattern: sustained pressure was pulling leaders away from who they were. Fortunately, in his latest book, Reinvention at the Top: The Playbook for CEOs to Lead Under Pressure , Petrone introduces the Throughline, an architecture that helps leaders align their identity, message, and presence so they can lead powerfully under pressure. Whether stepping into a new role, navigating a crisis, or reinventing an organization, Throughline offers CEOs a practical roadmap for leading without losing themselves.   As you read the book you will discover: ...

How To Achieve Human Leadership

Human Leadership: The Courage To Face Ourselves And Each Other is Kristen Hadeed ’s newest book. It’s a raw, personal account of losing herself in service to others and the challenging work of finding her way back.   It’s a story of burnout, ambition, resentment, grief, reinvention, profound self-examination, and the courage it takes to share what you discover with the people around you. By learning to face herself, tell the truth, and take ownership of her choices, Hadeed became a more courageous, compassionate leader and built a life and business that would take care of her, too.   Hadeed’s journey shows that leadership doesn’t have to mean endless sacrifice or self-abandonment. Human Leadership offers a different path―one where courage, honesty, and humanity become the foundation of meaningful leadership and a meaningful life.   Part memoir, part invitation, Hadeed’s story will empower you to:   Recognize the values, fears, and limiting beliefs driving your lead...

Decide

Many years ago, I worked with a person who could not make decisions.  Neither big nor small decisions. That indecisiveness paralyzed our business in many ways. Unfortunately, the book, Decide:  Work Smarter, Reduce Your Stress, and Lead by Example , had not been published.  Had it, I would have shared it with my co-worker. Decide , published this past February, teaches readers how to make better decisions based on the real results they want to experience. The author, Steve McClatchy, explains how to use the two forms of human motivation -- Gain, or Prevent Pain , to make more effective decisions.  For example, he demonstrates how inserting a Gain task in the middle of a Prevent Pain day can give you the energy you need to move forward and make the Prevent Pain tasks take less time through motivation. Deeper into the book, you'll be reminded about not only the problems with procrastination, but also about the benefits of procrastination, and, if you are ...

How Will The Value Of Your Days Be Measured?

I recommend that all leaders every so often read the  What Will Matter  poem by  Michael Josephson . It serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of unselfishly serving and leading with character. I've highlighted in bold and in color my favorite parts of the poem: Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else. Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away. It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end. It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brillian...

Coherence: The Secret Science Of Brilliant Leadership

Coherence:  The Secret Science of Brilliant Leadership is the new book by author Dr. Alan Watkins . Trained as a medical doctor, Watkins is now  an honorary senior lecturer in neuroscience and psychological medicine at Imperial College, London and an affiliate professor of leadership at the European School of Management, London. According to Watkins, coherence is the biological state achieved when elite performers experience maximum efficiency and super effectiveness, where body and mind are one . Coherence provides one of the most unique approaches to showing leaders how to be younger, smarter, healthier and happier -- which gives them the power to make decisions under pressure and achieve sustainable success. Prepare to spend quality time reading Coherence . It's not light reading.  Kind of feels like a medical text book in parts.  But, it's worth your commitment to it. I particularly found useful Watkin's discussion on culture , where he w...

The Leadership Quotes That Inspire Me

These quotes truly inspire me : “The three common characteristics of best companies -- they care, they have fun, they have high performance expectations.” -- Brad Hams “The one thing that's common to all successful people: They make a habit of doing things that unsuccessful people don't like to do.” -- Michael Phelps “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." -- Harry S. Truman “The leader of the past was a person who knew how to tell. The leader of the future will be a person who knows how to ask.” -- Peter Drucker “Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” -- Dwight D. Eisenhower “Good leadership isn't about advancing yourself.  It's about advancing your team.” -- John C. Maxwell "People buy into the leader, then the vision.” -- John C. Maxwell “Great leaders have courage, tenacity and patience.” -- Bill McBean "People never...