How To Be A Better Listener

Here are some ways to sharpen your listening skills to help you derive the fullest meaning from what is being communicated:

Listen for potential
Listen for what's not said
Listen for inconsistency
Identify nonverbal signals
Listen for perspective
Listen for energy
Listen for themes and threads
Listen for what's behind the words
Listen through the silence
Listen for positive change
Acknowledge you're listening
Know when to interrupt

The last tip, about interrupting, kind of surprised me when I read this list in the book, What Could Happen If You Do Nothing. But, there are times when interrupting makes sense. Strategic interrupting can be both clarifying and productive for both parties. For example, it makes sense to interrupt when:

You feel that you or the other person has lost the thread
You need clarification to fully get what's going on
There's an opportunity to offer a suggestion
It might be helpful to reframe or offer another way to look at a situation

And, if you are having a conversation with someone who is expressing their feelings or attitudes, keep in mind that according to professor Albert Mehrabian of UCLA that within that communication to you:

7 percent is in the words that are spoken
38 percent is in the way the words are said
55 percent is in facial expression

Comments

Effective Listening: Do's And Don'ts

Here are some great tips from Michelle Tillis Lederman's book, The 11 Laws of Likability . They are all about: what to do and what not to do to be a leader who's an effective listener : Do : Maintain eye contact Limit your talking Focus on the speaker Ask questions Manage your emotions Listen with your eyes and ears Listen for ideas and opportunities Remain open to the conversation Confirm understanding, paraphrase Give nonverbal messages that you are listening (nod, smile) Ignore distractions Don't : Interrupt Show signs of impatience Judge or argue mentally Multitask during a conversation Project your ideas Think about what to say next Have expectations or preconceived ideas Become defensive or assume you are being attacked Use condescending, aggressive, or closed body language Listen with biases or closed to new ideas Jump to conclusions or finish someone's sentences

How To Lead A Family Business

Julie Charlestein is the author of the book, How To Lead Your Family Business: Excelling Through Unexpected Crises, Choices, and Challenges . Charlestein is also the fourth-generation leader of an incredibly successful family-owned enterprise, and she’s seen it all firsthand, including family drama in the workplace and the office politics that come with any corporation. Her book features her unique set of strategies for navigating the distinctive challenges and choices facing family businesses. In her highly personal storytelling style, Charlestein shares her experience as an emerging leader and ultimately CEO, who has worked to earn her colleagues’ respect. She details her leadership adventure, offering actionable strategies for those leading and working within their own family businesses. The book is ideal for anyone leading a family business or starting a family business. It’s also good for anyone taking over an existing (or new) business. More about Charleste...

How To Build Lasting Customer Relationships Using The Triple Fit Strategy

“It’s time for companies to rethink their growth logic and strategy,” according to Christoph Senn and Mehak Gandhi , authors of the new book, Triple Fit Strategy: How To Build Lasting Customer Relationships And Boost Growth . The authors affirm that there would be much more value if companies no longer operated in a transactional buyer-seller relationship, but instead as a singular team. A team where buyer and seller can collaborate on decisions around planning, execution, and resources like they were one company. “Today’s business customers don’t just buy products and services; they buy expectations,” explain Senn and Gandhi. “What the customers want is the commitment of and access to the supplier’s total operation. They want problem-solving and creative thinking to keep their business ahead of competition. They want partners.” In the book, Senn and Gandhi forge an entirely new path for business that embraces a 360-degree customer-centric approach, and they ...

Resolve To Find A Mentor In 2025

Having a mentor is one of the best things you can do to advance your career as a leader. So, decide soon to secure a mentor who will work with you during 2025. Make that one of your New Year’s resolutions. A mentor can benefit leaders new to their leadership role and they can benefit experienced and seasoned leaders, as well. A strong mentoring relationship allows the mentor and the mentee to develop new skills and talents, to build confidence, and to build self-awareness. Proper mentoring takes a commitment from both parties and it takes time to develop and to reap the rewards of the relationship. Plan to work with your mentor for no less than three months, and ideally for six months or longer. When seeking out a mentor, think about these questions : 1. Will the relationship have good personal chemistry? 2. Can this person guide me, particularly in the areas where I am weakest? 3. Will this person take a genuine interest in me? 4. Does this person have the trait...

How Achieving Balance Makes You A More Successful Leader

In his highly authentic, sincere and personal book, Balancing Act , author Dr. Andrew Temte, CFA , shares candid insights and timely lessons about the balance needed to succeed as a leader. “I wrote this book in the hope that others will learn from my triumphs and failures. Those who can recover more rapidly from periods of imbalance will have an advantage over those cannot,” says Temte. He firmly believes that leaders who strive toward balance can more readily identify and curtail organizational entropy, facilitate a culture of trust, and foster diverse organizations and cultures that inspire everyone to bring their “whole sell” to work . “Success without balance is often more disastrous than failure with balance,” explains Temte. “When the unbalanced achieve victory, it often serves to further destructive habits. When the balanced suffer defeat, resilience and perseverance grow.” Tempte further explains that leaders today often struggle for balance between : St...

Top Five Factors That Drive Employee Loyalty

A 2010 survey by the Society for Human Resource Management shows that job security is what matters most to employees. And, having that job security helps to keep employees loyal. Okay, that's really not too surprising during these times of high unemployment. Next on the list is benefits . The unstable economy, coupled with rising health care costs, make employer offered benefits more important than ever. Third on the top five list is an employee's opportunity to use his/her skills . When employees feel good about their jobs and their abilities, and clearly know they are contributing to their organization they remain engaged and loyal. In fourth place is an organization's financial stability . Compensation came in fifth on the top five list. Employee pay often is not the most important driver for employee retention. Despite study after study that shows pay is not the top reason employees stay with a company, research results like these often surpris...

Ask Your Customers To Help You Write Your Strategic Plan

Mike Brown, the founder of the Kansas City company called, The Brainzooming Group, encourages business leaders to solicit feedback from their customers when creating a strategic plan. Brown recently wrote in Smart Companies Thinking Bigger magazine, that you should “ask a group of current, former and potential customers the following questions:" If you’re a current or former customer, why did you start using us? What have we done in the past to make your biggest challenges more difficult? If you still use us, why do you continue to do so? If you don’t use us currently, what are some of the reasons why you don’t? “These questions are designed to allow your customers to share their perspectives and opinions openly, not rate performance on a numerical scale,” explained Brown. He explained that the answers to the questions will provide you valuable insight into : Your current strengths and weaknesses Opportunities to more successfully help your customers Potential challen...

3 Coaching And Mentoring Tips

Here are three great tips from the book, The Everything Coaching and Mentoring Book : Coaches do not motivate their employees; they inspire them to motivate themselves. This is best accomplished by allowing employees to see clearly where they stand in the organization versus where they want to be in their careers. That is, what are their self-interests versus what the company can offer them. A mentor always exercises the power of suggestion. That is, wise mentors offer up plenty of suggestions to their mentees. They pose alternatives. But they refrain, as much as possible, from telling their mentees what to do. Mentoring is all about sharing experiences. It is about mentors imparting the multiple lessons that they've learned to their mentees and helping them better navigate through their own careers. By absorbing these lessons--of mentors' mistakes and successes--mentees are better prepared to move forward with knowledge and confidence.

Do You Really Need To Read Leadership Books?

The answer is yes. And, fortunately, there are lots out there to select from. However, if you don't have time to read books about how to be an effective and good leader, you can select a few words from the list below and then practice what those words mean, as you lead your team every day. Leaders on the LinkedIn Executive Suite group came up with these nearly 50 words in answer to a discussion topic I posted in the group forum: " A Good Leader Is [insert one word]." A big thank you to that group for this valuable list. Accountable Adaptable Approachable Authentic Aware Bold Brave Candid Caring Clear Challenging Charismatic Compassionate Courageous Credible Decisive Dedicated Ethical Empowering Engaged Fearless Forward-Thinking Gracious Honest Humble Inclusive Influential Inspiring Intuitive Loyal Mindful Moral Motivating Objective Open Passionate Pro-active Receptive Responsible Respectful Skilled S...

How To Improve Your Internal Communication Skills

Here is this week's book recommendation. It's a quick read, yet power-packed with useful tips for communicating effectively -- tips you can start to use tomorrow. And, the eBook is free! As author David Grossman says, "good internal communication gets the message out, but great internal communication helps employees connect the dots between overarching business strategy and their role. When it’s good, it informs; when it’s great, it engages employees and moves them to action. Quite simply, it helps people and organizations be even better." I really found this book useful.

Eric Jacobson On Management And Leadership

Search This Blog